HEY. YOU. Get Offa My Treadmill!

‘Tis the time of year for fatties everywhere to resolve to eat better, exercise more, and finally lose some weight.

Well…MB3556 1.85 x 2.52

I am a person who eats pretty well, exercises pretty regularly, and doesn’t have too much extra weight on him.  I’m basically living at my greatest weight loss potential. 

So, every time I see a weight loss ad on TV I hear people like this:drastic-weight-loss-1

Say things like:

“Oh my god! I have so much energy! I feel so happy and amazing!! I no longer have trouble breathing when I sleep!!!”

I think:

“Fuck.  This is as much energy as I’m ever gonna have.  This is as happy as I’m gonna be. And I STILL have trouble sleeping through the night!?!?”

Well, no more, my friends. If they’re going to the gym in  January – then fuck it, I’m staying on the couch!!

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Actor / Writer / Idealist I believe a good story has the power to change the way people feel, think, and act. I'm a storyteller with a passion for changing the world and leaving it better than I found it.

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