‘Tis the time of year for fatties everywhere to resolve to eat better, exercise more, and finally lose some weight.
I am a person who eats pretty well, exercises pretty regularly, and doesn’t have too much extra weight on him. I’m basically living at my greatest weight loss potential.
Say things like:
“Oh my god! I have so much energy! I feel so happy and amazing!! I no longer have trouble breathing when I sleep!!!”
“Fuck. This is as much energy as I’m ever gonna have. This is as happy as I’m gonna be. And I STILL have trouble sleeping through the night!?!?”
Well, no more, my friends. If they’re going to the gym in January – then fuck it, I’m staying on the couch!!